i know, exams are over. but my feelings for him are not. sometimes i feel soo mad at him. sometimes it feels like i am only one of his toys. but i could not deny the fact that i am still in love with him. 2 days ago, i tried to get rid of him by not talking to him. and you know what. i just cant. maybe he really felt like he was abandoned, but i felt worse than that. he didn't know that that day, i cried at school, feeling i was a total idiot.
that day we met at the mall. he held my hands. he kissed my hands and my head. I COULD NOT resist it. but maybe i have to be strong. though i am still in love with him, he is not. he already has someone new. so i have to STOP. just stop stop stop stop thinking about him. i am still breathing without him, so it has no use to think about him all the time.
i have to run from this. maybe pretending is my new job. pretending i don't love him anymore, probably would help.
i'm listening to samsons song. haha. the lyrics are soo good.
"mungkin aku tidaklah sempurna, tetapi hatiku memilikimu sepanjang hidupku"
maybe i should just run from this reality and pretend i'll be okay by myself. pretend that i don't feel any jealousy when seeing him in love with any other girl.
i give my best to you. and you'll never see me cry again.
goodbye.
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